If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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