yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you win again, gameday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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