i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
