my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
