____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
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