Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
no, he came in my armpit
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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