Cold hands, warm shart.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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