It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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