So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
