hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
