i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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