I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
