THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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