i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
