i just had sex bonerless
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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