I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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