i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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