Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I could make wine with my vomit
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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