Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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