Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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