In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
