My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
