Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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