The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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