so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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