I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
