u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
