oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
