just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She bit a glass in half.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
