The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
