Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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