wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
