No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
