we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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