Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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