You don't have asthma, your pregnant
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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