Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize