turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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