Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.