yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not