I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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