I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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