No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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