Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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