Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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