Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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