im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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