It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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