white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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