i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
