And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
