Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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