Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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