on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What a dumb baby whore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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