Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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