She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
