You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
